Friday, July 11, 2014

dear diary

Dear Diary

New record in poonami stakes. My baby managed to emit a pooh all the way up his back to his neck.

Yes, his headstem; his neck actual neck. Boys will be boys, and my boy has officially broken his own pooh record - what a proud mummy I am. Excitement and jubilation in our household!

(Spent morning washing him and his clothes, went through half a jar of Vanish).
 For those wondering, the shade is almost exactly the same colour as the cardigan I'm wearing today. Coincidence?


Also, Dear Diary:

I've joined WeightWatchers [again.] I get more points as I'm breastfeeding, but I am officially going to get my pre-pregnancy body back!

(I carried twins for 8 months, so my stomach and hips will never look the same. I was a heavy mama, and I have a lot of work to do. I don't think it'll ever look like it was...)
But before shit gets totally out of control, and I start to look like LaShonda Shaniqua Devine above, I'm planning to lose about 10 kilograms.

Dear Diary, related: doing some serious pelvic floor exercises! Squeeze and breathe squeeze and breathe.

Lovely Lulu Jay of Berrydairies who so kindly came to visit Sebastian and I to check up on our progress told me that something called 'prolapse' can happen if you don't do your Kegels.
Just the word sounds diabolical, so I have invested some serious time to tightening up my undercarriage.
(Prolapse means your uterus falla down into your vaginal passage. I think. Basically gravity takes hold and everything goes into a big black hole never to return to the right place unless surgically.)

Fuck.

Also she noticed something with one of Seb's hands and foot. As a result of a small placenta. She has done her best to put me at ease, and has mostly succeeded, but I am still worried. His foot curls slightly and he fists his left hand a lot - more than what he should be.

Dear Diary, thank goodness for wonderful physios like Lulu Jay, I now do daily exercises with him.


Dear Diary, my best Irish Gay friend has taken it upon himself to internationalise my son. Teach him about diversity and, well, the EU. The uncle that makes him a European mascot.
He has bought him a strapping pair of lederhosen and a vest with leprechauns all over it. Next up are clogs and a kilt.

1 comment:

Lulu said...

Thanks for your kind words lovely lady!
It has been SO lovely hanging out with you and gorgeous Mr Seb! You are the most incredible Mama and you are looking amazing - no need for WW AT ALL!!
And Seb is just the cutest smiliest little man ever!
See you soon :)
Lulu x x x