anniversary numero dos

The Brit and I have been married exactly two years today.

"!", quite genuinely.

So much has happened and been squeezed into this relatively short space of time, it's easy to forget it's really only been 730 days. In all honestly, so much has happened that it feels like we have been married for 730 years at least ten.

Life was simpler then, we could be more selfish and we had more than enough asleep. But we are richer now - not necessarily financially - and not only because we have had children and harrowing/amazing experiences together, but that after all of it, we are still together.

We've been tested to the limit, and because this life is my life, I suspect losing a child so soon after getting married won't be the last 'test' we endure over the next few years. Hopefully it won't be as traumatic or affect other tributaries of our existence like this has, but who is to know what the future holds?

Today, we celebrate all that we have been through together and the fact that regardless of it, and everything beyond it, we are still together and still so happy to be a unit, and a family.

A year ago we couldn't really celebrate our anniversary like one would've hoped after one year of marriage. Sebastian was a month old and I was breastfeeding 8-9 times a day, glued to the couch, mostly. Wearing a dressing gown and a head of hair that hadn't been brushed for a week. I was also uncomfortable -  healing from my c-section - and because Seb was now in the full throes of colic (crying from 4pm until 10pm at night non-stop no matter what), so very, very utterly sleep deprived.

Needless to say, my mother was with us, and for the first time, I left the house. As in, beyond going outside to walk around the block in my pyjamas out of sheer frustration, anger, cabin fever and just to clear my head, I hadn't got dressed in normal clothes yet and left my street.

A month in, and I put on a dress and we headed out for two hours (had to be back at the end of that to breastfeed!), to an actual restaurant.

It was really really weird. For one, we could hardly stay awake. For two, I remember seeing lots of people doing things. Going about an actual day; attending to errands, walking along the pavement, enjoying cups of coffee at cafes, while our Uber glided past all of these social and bustling scenes. I had been cooped up for a month with my newborn and it was really quite shellshocking to see the rest of the world just carry on with their lives.

I remember turning to my husband and saying, "There's a whole world out here I completely forgot actually existed."

Sitting at the restaurant, doing something like buttering a bread roll, unfurling a napkin, ordering a glass of champagne (!) from the waiter was just so utterly bizarre.
And if I'm honest, our first year anniversary conversation went something like this:

"Do you think he's alright?"
Yes, I'm sure he's fine.
"I should text."
No, don't, it'll be fine. She'll phone if something's wrong.
"Should we have a cup of coffee? I'm feeling really sleepy."
Yes. Let's get two double espressos. And then another two maybe.
"Do you think one glass of champagne will make the baby drunk?"
No, not in two hours. Besides, it'll probably be good for him. Make him sleep.
"Do you think he's alright?"

We went for a walk along the river afterwards, and it just felt so weird. I guess the conclusion is: Having a baby just before your first wedding anniversary means you probably won't be physically able to celebrate it.

And don't even think about really physically celebrating it, if you get my vibe.


So. Fast forwarding to this year, I'm pretty excited that we are now all caught up in terms of being real people, living real lives in the actual outside world again with a pretty-much toddler. (Sidenote: not sure when the leap from baby to toddler happens, I see Sebastian as a hybrid model at present), we can actually celebrate our anniversary like (mostly) normal people.

Sebastian has given me his lurgy which he caught from one of the little critters at nursery I'll try to ignore that I'm feeling fucking fluey, and instead turn to champagne (definitely more than one glass this time) to anesthetise my fever.

We also plan to celebrate this (long) weekend - as we will be in Spain!

Hola amor.

I happen to be going to Madrid this week for work, so the Brit and Sebasticle are flying out on Friday to meet me.

Sunshine, chorizo and vino tinto you say? Felicidad.

Now that's how you celebrate an anniversary.*

*With a new(ish) family member alongside us, who has also never been to Madrid, so I'm sure he'll drink in the cultural experience in between mashing a banana into the floor and climbing up onto the furniture.