five things i've found to be true

1) If you were big your first pregnancy; you'll be a whopper your second.
"Surely you should've been bigger the first time as you were having twins?"

No. I am bigger the second time because I carried twins.
Everyone is bigger second time round, I'm just a little bit bigger than they are.

I was the size of a rhino by the end of my twin pregnancy. I am already the size of a rhino and I've only just hit the third trimester.

My maternity jeans don't fit me. I've had to undo the buttons so I can sit down. I'm wearing maxi dresses the size of yurts. I appear to be bearing a baby out of my ass.

I am a big, fat, heaving mama. And while I'm only carrying one baby this time, it feels like I'm carrying 5.

Why is this so?
Because, biologically speaking, your body has done it before. It's stretched itself to ginormous proportions, your stomach muscles might've slightly split the first time (like mine), and relaxin, the hormone that loosens your muscles sets in a lot sooner and quicker, so everything just kind of gets bigger and goes south.

For those people who have had four kids and never had any type of reconstructive surgery? I don't believe you.

2) In the same sentiment as 1), you get tired quicker and your back hurts like f£%ck
Relaxin again. I am battling to sit in one position for anything more than half an hour at the moment, and I'm only 28-29 weeks.
My back has really taken strain this time around. Similarly, I am as tired as I was with the twins because I am running after a toddler when I'm not running after the press, at work.

3) You will get sick when you feel 1) and 2), and your husband is away in Texas
I'm clawing my way through this week by the string of a congested, gravely cough, hugely rotund, shell of myself, and there isn't enough Vitamin C in this world to take the edge off, even just a little bit.

4) While I should be focusing on my bump and baby, I'm instead stressing about whether we will have a house by then.
The fun and games, chain of endless nightmares, continues.


5) There's always a plus side
I'm due to finish work in less than 6 weeks.
I waddle around very slowly to conserve energy.
I am excited.
The sun is shining, and when you're pregnant your body temperature goes sky high, so I'm walking around in dresses made for the Costas.