Thursday, July 08, 2010

everyone has one, nuns


something i haven't accounted for.

my electronic love wand. the bushwhacker 3000. the quasi-copulatory appliance. my dildo.

what the devil do immigrating people do with their sex toys? I mean, i've been told that uk customs will open my boxes. and frankly, i've moved on from the bushwhacker. it was great three years ago, but now, there's, er, zootier stuff on the market that fulfills my basic animalistic needs.

so. where does one put a big pink dildo? do i throw it in the bin and hope the gardener doesn't find it? do i throw it in the neighbour's hedge? do i leave it with a mate for a rainy day/the day bushwhacker's come back in vogue?

basically. i have 6 days left to decide what will come of this sexual instrument.

ps: yes i know i'm typing in lower case. that's the world's fault for using a shift key and making such a fuss about it.

7 comments:

陳延doraramirezDGD尹 said...

人有兩眼一舌,是為了觀察倍於說話的緣故。............................................................

Gail said...

pop it into that electronic recycling caravan type thing outside Makro, Wahahahahaha! I double, no triple, dare you!

Peas on Toast said...

Gail - haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

DONE!

kyknoord said...

Leave it in your boss's bin.

Peas on Toast said...

Kyk - oooh even better. I know exactly which bin I'm gonna put it in. I can't wait!

It is the question said...

Dammit! You should have auctioned it off when your friends came round to take the furniture you were leaving behind.

Each time the price was raised you could have added a few lines about the toy's history...

angrboda said...

Cumming, er, coming back to SA from London back in '97 I popped my little collection of toys in the Oxfam bin down the road from our bedsit in Swiss Cottage, along with my Docs & a whole heap of clothing I knew I could easily replace once back on this side (ie. NOT the custom-made corsets & designer shoes I had gone many square meals without to be able to afford). Do bear in mind that I had worked for Ann Summers on Wardour Street in Soho for almost 2 years & had by then 'test-driven' just about every product on the market (alone, & with my boyfriend - now husband), aged all of 23 >;-)